Erma Bombeck Quotes About School
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.
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Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
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As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.
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