Thanksgiving Jokes Quotes
The best sayings about Thanksgiving Jokes that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
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But see, in our open clearings, how golden the melons lie; Enrich them with sweets and spices, and give us the pumpkin-pie!
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
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Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!
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It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful 'in general.' It's very strange. It's a little like being married in general.
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It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
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Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.
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Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'
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I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.
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I'm from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I'm thankful for that.
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Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.
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It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.
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You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
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I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.
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I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England".
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'
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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
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You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave.
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Top Authors
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On Joo-wan Actor -
Osric Chau Actor -
Pablo Schreiber Actor -
Olympia Dukakis Actress -
Oliver Herring Artist -
Pat Robertson Author -
Patricia Reilly Giff Author -
Patrick Vlaskovits Author -
Oil Can Boyd Baseball player -
Patsy Yvonne Helen Swayze Choreographer -
Pat McQuaid Cyclist -
Otto Penzler Editor -
Owsley Stanley Engineer -
Pat Summerall Football player -
Patrick Willis Football player -
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Former Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States -
Northrop Frye Literary critic -
Paul Baloche Musical Artist -
Nuruddin Farah Novelist -
Pascual Jordan Physicist -
Patrick Peyton Priest -
Norman Podhoretz Pundit -
Paul Anka Singer -
Oriah Dreamer Writer -
Patricia C. Wrede Writer -
Patricia Powell Writer -
Patrick Califia Writer
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