Ogden Nash Quotes
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How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!
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I believe that people believe what they believe they believe.
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Bankers are just like everybody else, except richer.
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Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with. And with whom they breakfast with and sup with. They interfere with the discipline of nurseries, And forget anniversaries, And when they have been particularly remiss, They think they can cure everything with a great big kiss.
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One bliss for which There is no match Is when you itch To up and scratch.
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Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
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I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
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An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.
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I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
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Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
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The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions
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Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!
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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
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I think progress began to retrogress when Wilbur and Orville started tinkering around in Dayton and at Kitty Hawk, because I believe that two Wrights made a wrong.
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No man is greater than his respect for sleep.
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Winter is the king of showmen, Turning tree stumps into snowmen And houses into birthday cakes And spreading sugar over lakes. Smooth and clean and frosty white, The world looks good enough to bite. That’s the season to be young, Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Snow is snowy when it’s snowing, I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.
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Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.
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The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers.
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Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?
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The sky is now indelible ink, The branches reft asunder; But you and I we do not shrink; We love the lovely thunder.
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Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think that their children are naive.
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Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
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No, you never get any fun Out of the things you haven't done.
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Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways.
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At another year I would not boggle Except that when I jog I joggle.
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A bit of talcum Is always walcum.
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You are much happier when you are happy than when you ain't.
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The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two; Or else the other way around; I'm never sure. Are you?
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Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it; Thank you kids, I wouldn't have missed it.
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