Karl Pilkington Quotes About Funny
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Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.
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With identical twins, you always get a little snidey one.
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What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea of that.
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[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
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The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
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Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
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Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.
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It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that.
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As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.
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Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.
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At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf.
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I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.
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We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age.
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I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off.
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I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.
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I came up with a good idea... see-through skin.
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We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.
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Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts.
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